Never say____to a Cop
Here are 20 things that you should never say to a cop:
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Hey! Aren't you the guy from the village people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 MPH to keep up with me! Good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. No donut for you!
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Hey! Didn't I see you on 'Cops'?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they cannot get a job at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary, dammit!
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around. That's how far behind them I am!
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of heroin, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
Have a Safe and Happy Holiday to all
Comments (22)
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
This was a nice chuckle all over again this morning!
Arthur Webster
7
Just plain honesty
Well, you see officer, it was like this.
I was driving along, minding my own business, when this fly came into the car. Now, my wife is terrified of spiders and she was hysterical about the fly because it would attract a spider. I thought that it would be a good idea to accelerate so that the fly would get blown out of the window. The idea was working but, just as the fly was about to disappear, I came to a red light. For a split second I hesitated but then, for the sake of my poor wife who w
Nathan Ramsey
4
My First Website http://nathanramsey2.googlepages.com/freeresponsiveglobaladvertising
Jeff Greene
8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
The story of my Retirement Celebration will be released on The Winter Solstice. You folks should be ready for some laffs by then! :)
Jean DAndrea
7
Retired
My partner says "Grow old disgracefully" Jeff, you made a good start!
It's more fun that way, that's for sure.
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
My mom was a bad influence at 70!
Jeff Greene
8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
If I'm a Bad Influence at 55 years old, I'm going to take that as a compliment! :).... By the way my Lady Friend was a silver-haired Grand Mother! LOL! :)
Lisa Lomas
11
This reminds me of a song
Its called "Bad to the Bone"
Great fun, I love this humor!!!
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Jeff you are what my mother used to call a bad influence! LOL!
Jeff Greene
8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Sorry Officer! We were just trying out some horizontal Wrestling Techniques, when all of our clothing somehow just fell off...
Jeff Greene
8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I was "Celebrating" my retirement (7 years ago) with new-found Lady-friend. We were enjoying "The Hottest Make-out Session Ever, By a 40 Plus Couple!" in, of all places, a Historical Park site... When we got "Busted " by a Park Ranger (In his twenties, I think)...
He scolded us with such a look of flat out AWE on his face, that we couldn't stop laughing! He gave us a half-serious warning and went on his way... I'm telling you for a fact, he was so shocked that "Older Folks" had hormones, I
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
The best one I ever dealt with was when a guy gave his cousin's name and the cousin had a warrant. He then tried to get out of it by claiming that the cousins name was his nickname.
Actually officer my name is Richard, people just call me Alvin!
Sheila Thomas
6
I was trying to find a bathroom could you show which way to go?
Sheila Thomas
6
How nice it is for you to take me home
Jennifer Underwood
11
Promoter
I know your mom!
They set an example then...lol
Sheila Thomas
6
How about ...You know I was thinking the same thing, Damn your good
Jean DAndrea
7
Retired
It wasn't me - I wuz framed !
Jean
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Funny thing is I've actually heard some of these used. And quite a bit more that aren't fit to print!
Lisa G.
9
Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
And don't say... "What did I do wrong.... occifer "?
Cheryl Baumgartner
12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
*Shouldn't you be out chasing real criminals.
*Is that cocaine on your uniform or did I interrupt you in the middle of your powdered jelly donut.