7 tips on finding love that you definitely shouldn't listen to

They confuse us, create illusions and make us unhappy.

1. You have to find a couple by a certain date.

For example, before the age of 30. Or by graduation. Or before all your friends and classmates have had time to get married. Otherwise, tragedy, eternal loneliness, and "what will people think? This is especially true for women, who immediately after adulthood allegedly start ticking clocks. Although men also get it - how come, it's almost 30, and still single, you need a good wife, and sooner.

But relationships are not an area where you need to hurry. By the way, you can see here now to find a good friend or life partner. A man rushes himself, sets deadlines, in case of violation of which he worries a lot, and considers himself wrong and flawed. And as a result, there is a risk of grabbing the first more or less suitable partner, just to meet certain deadlines. And this approach can lead to disappointments, toxic relationships, or painful breakups.

2. You'll know "your" person right away.

You'll see him and realize that he is the one, the long-awaited and the only one. Butterflies will flutter in your stomach, your heart will skip a beat, and you will instantly find common topics of conversation. And then there will be no arguments - only romance, and everything as per the notes. Because that's the only way it happens when you meet your true soul mate.

And if love didn't come at first sight or the relationship doesn't develop like in a romantic movie, then the person isn't right for you.

That is the danger of the myth about soulmates: we risk missing an interesting person just because our hearts did not twitch at the first meeting with him. Or, conversely, to decide that since the relationship with your supposed soul mate did not work out, it means that with no one else you will not get anything.

3. With the ideal partner you must match everything.

That is you should have the same tastes, interests, identical views on life, and opinions on all important issues. And it is also desirable to coincide in age, level of education, and financial situation.

Otherwise, what kind of couple is it, where one jumps with a parachute, and the other sits at home, eating cookies and knitting scarves? Or one earns a lot and the other not so much. Expect conflicts, swearing, and eventually breakups.

Different views on life, of course, can be a reason for quarrels and even a breakup. However, the full coincidence of vital positions and hobbies also does not guarantee that the relationship will be successful. After all, if you focus only on this, you can miss out on an interesting person.

4. You and your partner should be different.

Because opposites attract and in an ideal relationship people complement each other in everything. One leader, the other slave; one is weak, but the other is strong, and so on. You have to look for a person with the qualities that you lack. This is the only way the pair will be truly strong and stable.

There may be some truth in this theory. But real people are not computer parts that can be successfully matched according to certain characteristics.

5. You should not show interest at once.

Even if you like a person, you should not talk about it. And don't show it either. You must behave a little aloof - as if you are interested in him just a little, but not that much. In general, you have a lot of other things to do and you are always a little unavailable. Most often, such advice is given to women and even girls - a classic combo of glossy magazines and encyclopedias for little princesses.

Don't call first, don't take the initiative, don't confess your feelings under any circumstances, be late for a date, and keep a pause when you answer messages.

Some men follow these tactics, too. Sometimes this is done consciously - to manipulate the partner, to bind her to him. For example, this is what pick-up artists do. And sometimes it is just a technique learned from childhood.

The problem is that a real, sincere relationship should not consist of manipulations, games, and conventions. So if you like a person, it's perfectly normal to show it. And if you are not in love yet, but would like to find your love, christian dating apps free can help you with this.

6. Love is not the main thing at all.

The main thing is to have a good person, and feelings will come with time. It is necessary to choose with your mind, not with your heart because all the same emotions fade away. In general, even if there is something that you do not like about your partner at first, you can get used to it: as the saying goes, you will grow fond of it. That is it is a matter of a calculating relationship, although not always monetary.

7. You need to show yourself only on the good side.

At the beginning of the relationship, and especially while they have not yet begun, you should never let your partner know that you are a human being with your flaws. You must carefully hide all the flaws - both external and internal. Pack yourself in tight underwear and laugh at unfunny jokes. Lie that you never lose your temper, do not lie on the couch all weekend, play video games, do not swear, and do not eat junk food.

Or even invent non-existent talents and achievements. After all, if you show your true self - resentful, lazy, with bad habits - it can scare your partner away.

The problem is that all of this is essentially deception. Sooner or later it will reveal itself, and your couple will not thank you. It may not be necessary to pour out a complete list of your sins on the first meeting, but it's not a good idea to deliberately withhold something or lie, either.