Reinventing Happily Ever After

In his best selling book Think & Grow Rich, author Napoleon Hill writes about how countless entrepreneurs unknowingly stop 3 feet before the vein of gold. Translation: If these ambitious individuals had just kept going a moment longer, tried one more time after experiencing rejection and failure, they would have discovered wealth and abundance beyond their wildest dreams. 

In my relationships coaching practice, I have found the same concept to be true for women over 40.  After going through a painful breakup or divorce, and finding themselves single at an age they never expect, so many smart, savvy, successful women give up hope of ever finding love again. Convinced their happily ever after is now in the past, they simply accept life as the token single in their social circle, resign themselves to spending Saturday nights alone, and surrender to the idea that all the good men are taken – or out chasing twentysomething bimbos. What these women don’t realize is that they’re stopping just 3 feet short of their vein of gold.Yes, life as they once knew it is dead and gone. But what comes next is far more interesting.

It’s time to reinvent what happily ever after looks like. And while it no longer includes your ex, it can include a handsome, successful, loving man (if that’s what you want). It can also include single gal adventures, including traveling solo, spending time with girlfriends, reinventing your career, recreating your home, and/or awakening to a new passion. 

Now is your time to live out loud, and to reinvent Y-O-U on your terms. Yes, starting over is hard. But now that you’re free to put yourself first for a change, what will you do with your fabulous life? Take a painting class in Paris? Learn the tango in Argentina? Take up sky diving (strapped to a handsome instructor, of course!)?

While plenty of mourning time is necessary to let go of the life that’s no longer available, this is also the time to celebrate the vast unknown, and to reclaim yourself, maybe for the first time in years! So go ahead, give yourself permission to dream B-I-G! After all, this is your reinvention. Why not make the most of it?

 

Alex Wise of Loveawake.com for Apsense.com