How to talk about the rules with our teenager?

Because adolescence is not the period when we have the most self-confidence, with the approach of puberty and therefore the first period, the time has come to prepare our daughter and reassure her about her nascent femininity.

1. When to tell her about it
The first rules appear on average around the age of 11, but this can vary between 9 and 16 years. Doctors and psychologists advise to discuss the phenomenon well before it appears. This is why, we must remain attentive to some clues:

development of the chest
appearance of hairs at the level of the armpits and the pubic
curves of the body which becomes more feminine
beginning of acne more or less marked on the face, the torso, the back...

2. The right words
All these bodily changes often worry young girls. It is up to us to reassure them by explaining that one day, these transformations will lead to the appearance of cycles and rules, which will allow them to become women and mothers in turn. We use accessible and understandable words. We make a simple, positive description of this natural and essential phenomenon due to the maturation of certain hormones produced by the body. No complicated and overly scientific didactic speech.
We remind our daughter of course, that we will always be available if she has any questions, that she can talk about it with her sister, a cousin, an aunt or even go to Family Planning, if she feels embarrassed. raise the subject with us.

3. The questions she can ask us

"What if I have my first period at school?" "
In caring mom thought we will advise him to always have a towel in his bag. If the latter is missing, she can use a little toilet paper or ask her friends or a teacher to help her out. They have been there too. There is no shame or embarrassment to be had.

"Am I going to lose a lot of blood?" "
The lost amount varies from day to day on the week of the rules. Rather light on the first day, most of the flow is eliminated for the next 2 or 3 days before becoming less abundant.

"Is it painful?" 
Sometimes. It varies from woman to woman. During menstruation, the uterus contracts to evacuate mucous membranes and blood. It is these contractions that can be painful.

4. Ideas to help him
Show him where the sanitary napkins (or tampons) are, explain how to put them and advise him to have one (one) in his bag, in case, in a makeup bag, for example... We put aside a small bag of wipes for personal hygiene and a spare panties. We can also provide her with a small calendar on which she will note each month the first day of her period.

You are the mother of a young teenager, how did you approach the subject of her femininity with her? What words did you choose, how did she react? Come and testify on the forum!