How to deal with a clingy partner?

Clinginess is quite common in a lot of human relationships and even in romantic ones. A lot of us have also been clingy at some point in our lives. Especially in a new relationship, one can’t wait to hang out – all the time. But if you have been clingy your partner may ask for space. Clinginess depends on your partner – on how much he or she can take of time spent with you. Some will mention it at the slightest hint of being clingy while others will be ok up to a certain extent. But being highly needy is a toxic behavior trait – one that isn’t too healthy. Each individual deserves their me time and time that they want to spend with their specific group of friends. There are a few ways to deal with a clingy partner.

Encourage their own life

If your partner is clingy, then an underlying reason could be that they don’t have their own personal life. They may not have close friends or hobbies to keep them occupied and their sole focus is you. Gently encourage them to make a stronger group of friends and to interact more with that group. Explain or show by example how important close friends are. If possible, fix dates with their friends and don’t include yourself on them.

Address insecurities

Another reason why someone is clingy is because he or she is insecure about their relationship. Address these insecurities. Talk about it, discuss and talk till you both get to a common understanding. But this route is only for those who believe that their partner is in it for the long haul. If you aren’t sure about long term goals with this person, this action may seem like a task and may be irritating.

Build Trust

Building trust is a part of any dependable relationship and is quite important. One of the major reasons your partner becomes clingy is that they don’t trust you or your actions. The best way to build trust is face to face conversations which are honest and friendly. This way you both can chart a path to become closer without being clingy. Also don’t do anything that will cause this fragile trust to break, like having cheap phone sex for quick pleasure. In some minds, this is cheating and will lead to clingy behavior again.

Set Boundaries

If you are new in a relationship, try setting boundaries early on. Make these ground rules so that chances of clinginess are minimal. Make it a norm to spend time away. Emphasize that some alone me time is absolutely essential for you. This helps you recharge and recoup. Also, try to communicate that it is important to have a life outside of the relationship. If your partner really cares for you, he/she will understand.

There are ways to identify clingy behavior if you are new to this and aren’t sure.

If your partner is neglecting their friends and family. They will be away from them and even cancel their meetings with them to be with you.

Online stalking is a common sign of clinginess. Every couple follows each other online, but constantly checking what you are doing, where you are and whom you are meeting is a whole another level of being needy.

Irrational jealousy is another sign of being needy. Some level of jealousy is expected but getting super jealous on every little comment or incident is quite unhealthy.

One of the most visible signs is that they are speeding up the relationship too fast. You may have just met and they are talking about engagement and commitments. This isn’t a good sign. People need sufficient time to know each other. However, waiting years and years for commitment isn’t being clingy, it is called quite something different.