Five Ways to Protect Your Personal Space

Maybe you’re an extrovert who has never met a stranger. Or, maybe you’re the quiet type who need at least a few hours of silence per day to function. Regardless, we all have a bubble of personal space that we need to protect. Whether you mind people hugging you or are always the one going in for the embrace, there are many elements of our private and personal life that should remain off-limits.

To that end, protecting that space might feel like an uphill battle. After all, as technology continues to sophisticate, we are bombarded from every angle by smart devices that keep us as digitally connected as possible. At times, you may feel as though it’s impossible to detach, much less put a distinct distance between yourself and an unwanted encounter.

Still, there are a few ways you can achieve this. Maintaining your personal space is an important aim and you should be able to do so if you wish. Here are five ways to keep private things just that.

1. Identify how big your bubble should be.

Ultimately, if you feel as though your personal space is being invaded, you’ll end up feeling exhausted, emotional and overly anxious. Yet, each person might have a varying concept of what “personal space” truly is. To understand if yours is being compromised and take steps to reverse it, it’s important to identify exactly how much privacy you crave.

We all have a different way of approaching the space that exists around us. If you need to be alone in a corner to work productively, that’s your thing and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. On the other hand, if you welcome interaction and enjoy working around and with others, your bubble might not be as big. Either way, take the time to understand why personal space is so important to your physical, mental and emotional well-being before you analyze how you approach it. Having a bigger or smaller bubble than anyone else isn’t a shortcoming. It’s simply a result of your neural processors, your experiences, your preferences and your attachment securities.

2. Send a clear message.

If someone is encroaching on your personal space and you’re getting uncomfortable, it’s time to send the polite but firm message that the situation needs to change. You can do this in a variety of ways, but often a misunderstanding occurs because the communication becomes muddled. Let the other party know that you need some room by using body language first. For instance, if someone is coming in for a hug and you’d rather not embrace, you can simply stick your hand out for a handshake instead.

Or, move your chair away if someone keeps inching just a little too close for comfort. If you’re more of a verbal communicator, you can always couple your move with an explanation such as “I just need a little air.” Still, simple body language is often enough of a cue to tip off the other party.

3. Know your surroundings.

What do you do if you simply have a feeling that something is “off? For instance, maybe you feel someone’s eyes on you, or have the indication that you’re being watched. True, this may be your imagination playing tricks on you. Or, it may be a sign of a more serious issue. In this case, take the time to analyze your surroundings. You might notice something or someone you didn’t before. You can also install a hidden camera to catch any motion you might have missed. From there, you can learn what’s really going on and whether or not you need to take any important next steps.

Understanding clearly who is in the room, what is going on and who may be approaching you can help ease your mind and improve your confidence. No one likes being surprised by an embrace when you’re least expecting it, especially someone who values and prioritizes privacy like most of us do.

4. Learn how to say “no.”

Are you a people pleaser by nature? While there’s nothing wrong with wanting others around you to feel happy, be sure that you aren’t doing it at the expense of your own happiness or self-confidence. To this end, it’s important to learn how to say “no.” This skill can help you avoid circumstances and events in which you feel uncomfortable. For instance, if you crave a lot of personal space, you might not want to attend a crowded concert. Yet, your kind co-worker invites you out to one this weekend. What do you do?

Before you can confidently say “no, thank you” to that invite, start small. Try turning down something else that doesn’t carry as much significance. Say “no” to a vegetable you don’t like at dinner, for example. As you work up your ability to turn something down politely, you’ll be better able to respond when someone presents you with an opportunity that may threaten your comfort level or invade your personal space.

Of course, if you ever, for any reason, feel that an invasion of your personal space is not just awkward but physically dangerous, you’re within every right to give an emphatic “no” as well as sound an alarm or call an authority. Your body is yours and yours alone.

5. Relinquish guilt.

Many of us might feel guilty for needing our alone time or craving our personal space. At the end of the day, however, it’s a natural human right and one that we all should be able to practice. Understand that wanting to be apart from other people isn’t a reason to feel selfish. Free yourself of the guilt you feel after asking someone to step away, or for moving to a more empty part of the room. This is your life and these are your choices and if your current group cannot accept that, it may be time to find some new acquaintances.

So allow yourself to be free and to require as much or as little personal space as you do. When you’re the most comfortable version of yourself, others will be more comfortable around you, and ultimately, that’s what everyone is after.