Proper definitions

Posted by Zac Josevski
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CIGARETTE: 
A pinch of tobacco 
rolled in paper 
with fire at one end 
and a fool at the other! 


MARRIAGE: 
It's an agreement 
wherein 
a man loses his bachelor degree 
and a woman gains her master 


LECTURE: 
An art of transmitting Information 
from the notes of the lecturer 
to the notes of students 
without passing through the minds 
of either 


CONFERENCE: 
The confusion of one man 
multiplied by the 
number present 


COMPROMISE: 
The art of dividing 
a cake in such a way that 
everybody believes 
he got the biggest piece 


TEARS: 
The hydraulic force by which 
masculine will power is 
defeated by feminine water-power! 


CONFERENCE ROOM: 
A place where everybody talks, 
nobody listens 
and everybody disagrees later on 


ECSTASY: 
A feeling when you feel 
you are going to feel 
a feeling 
you have never felt before 


CLASSIC: 
A book 
which people praise, 
but never read 


SMILE: 
A curve 
that can set 
a lot of things straight! 


OFFICE: 
A place 
where you can relax 
after your strenuous 
home life 


YAWN: 
The only time 
when some married men 
ever get to open 
their mouth 


EXPERIENCE: 
The name 
men give 
to their 
Mistakes 


DIPLOMAT: 
A person 
who tells you 
to go to hell 
in such a way 
that you actually look forward 
to the trip 


OPTIMIST: 
A person 
who while falling 
from EIFFEL TOWER 
says in midway 
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!" 


MISER: 
A person 
who lives poor 
so that 
he can die RICH! 


FATHER: 
A banker 
provided by 
nature 


BOSS: 
Someone 
who is early 
when you are late 
and late 
when you are early 


POLITICIAN: 
One who 
shakes your Hand before elections 
and your Confidence later 


DOCTOR: 
A person who kills 
your ills by pills, 
and kills you 
by his bills!