Put your pride aside
Pride has 2 sides :
I won't say too many things about the positive side of pride. I don't like to say there is a positive side. When I admire a feat of one of my sons, I prefer to be happy than proud. I don't want to compare them to anyone else, I just wish for them to be happy as they see my wide smile.
"Negative" pride creates a number of obstacles in our daily lives. Saying it's negative is not helping or encouraging, cause we can't get rid of it, it's a part of being human.
The first thing we need to do about pride is :
Let's say you have a friend who is new to something you have done for years. You have the years of experience, you are making money,
He tells you about an idea he has about doing something.
Before he has finished exposing his idea, you interrupt him.
His idea won't work, in your opinion.
He insists. He believes he can bring something different on the table. But his words do not reach your brain. You've closed your mind.
He still wants to convince you.
You get angry. You start using strong words.
The discussion is not going anywhere.
BTW, your friend has made a big mistake : he didn't follow a simple rule we find in the book "How to make friends" by Dale Carnegie. He tried to convince you, kept hammering on the nail, wanted you to see the "light". He's certainly not making friends with you right now. He should have stopped at the first sign of resistance. He wasted his time, and yours.
A few days, weeks, or months later, you see your friend still talks about his nonsense in articles at APSense.
Hey, he's still just a newbie. Why won't he understand ?
A person with some success in the same industry approaches him. They start building a relationship.
Your friend has the nerve to tell you about it, how he's excited, etc...
Your friend just made a second mistake : he didn't consider your feelings that you expressed so clearly in that now infamous heated conversation from some time ago.
You decide that other people should be made aware of his lack of experience. He can't teach anything, HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY MONEY !
Your strategy is simple. You will comment in all his new articles, questioning his ideas, showing how you know better.
He dares respond to all of your comments. HOW CAN HE DO THAT ? HEY GUYS, CAN'T YOU SEE HIS RECOMMENDATIONS ARE EMPTY, HIS IDEAS DON'T WORK ?
Finally, you blow a fuse. Involuntarily, you use 2 pieces of information that you believe contradicts his "noble virtues". You try to discredit him.
Now, this time, he has seen you coming. Well, almost. He realizes you are not quite his friend anymore.
He uses what he calls his "sledgehammer technique". He answers he never said that. The problem is, he uses irrefutable proof that it's true.
If, at this point, you don't try to make amends, it means you refuse to put your pride aside.
- The Dr. Jekyll side
- Guess what the other is
I won't say too many things about the positive side of pride. I don't like to say there is a positive side. When I admire a feat of one of my sons, I prefer to be happy than proud. I don't want to compare them to anyone else, I just wish for them to be happy as they see my wide smile.
"Negative" pride creates a number of obstacles in our daily lives. Saying it's negative is not helping or encouraging, cause we can't get rid of it, it's a part of being human.
The first thing we need to do about pride is :
Acknowledge it
It is also the most difficult step.
We don't like to be proven wrong. To make mistakes. To fail. To be rejected, or ridiculed. To admit we are afraid in this or that situation. To recognize openly we didn't catch the joke, or we didn't understand what the teacher was talking about.
Many men are depressed because they want to be seen as "man" at all times and it is absolutely, utterly impossible. They get depressed because they've been hiding it for too long, their bodies try to compensate for not expressing legitimate feelings, and the only way out is to finally stop for a while.
There's an awesome book on that subject, :
I Don?t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Terrence Real
There's a reason I mention that book here.
Instead of just talking the talk, I will walk the walk. I will "put my pride aside".
I read that book.
In fact, I bought it and read it. It shook me from top to bottom. It was talking to me, it was talking about me.
Back to topic.
The rest of the article will only consider how pride is hurting your business. And mine.It is also the most difficult step.
We don't like to be proven wrong. To make mistakes. To fail. To be rejected, or ridiculed. To admit we are afraid in this or that situation. To recognize openly we didn't catch the joke, or we didn't understand what the teacher was talking about.
Many men are depressed because they want to be seen as "man" at all times and it is absolutely, utterly impossible. They get depressed because they've been hiding it for too long, their bodies try to compensate for not expressing legitimate feelings, and the only way out is to finally stop for a while.
There's an awesome book on that subject, :
I Don?t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Terrence Real
There's a reason I mention that book here.
Instead of just talking the talk, I will walk the walk. I will "put my pride aside".
I read that book.
In fact, I bought it and read it. It shook me from top to bottom. It was talking to me, it was talking about me.
Back to topic.
Let's say you have a friend who is new to something you have done for years. You have the years of experience, you are making money,
He tells you about an idea he has about doing something.
Before he has finished exposing his idea, you interrupt him.
His idea won't work, in your opinion.
He insists. He believes he can bring something different on the table. But his words do not reach your brain. You've closed your mind.
He still wants to convince you.
You get angry. You start using strong words.
The discussion is not going anywhere.
BTW, your friend has made a big mistake : he didn't follow a simple rule we find in the book "How to make friends" by Dale Carnegie. He tried to convince you, kept hammering on the nail, wanted you to see the "light". He's certainly not making friends with you right now. He should have stopped at the first sign of resistance. He wasted his time, and yours.
A few days, weeks, or months later, you see your friend still talks about his nonsense in articles at APSense.
Hey, he's still just a newbie. Why won't he understand ?
A person with some success in the same industry approaches him. They start building a relationship.
Your friend has the nerve to tell you about it, how he's excited, etc...
Your friend just made a second mistake : he didn't consider your feelings that you expressed so clearly in that now infamous heated conversation from some time ago.
You decide that other people should be made aware of his lack of experience. He can't teach anything, HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY MONEY !
Your strategy is simple. You will comment in all his new articles, questioning his ideas, showing how you know better.
He dares respond to all of your comments. HOW CAN HE DO THAT ? HEY GUYS, CAN'T YOU SEE HIS RECOMMENDATIONS ARE EMPTY, HIS IDEAS DON'T WORK ?
Finally, you blow a fuse. Involuntarily, you use 2 pieces of information that you believe contradicts his "noble virtues". You try to discredit him.
Now, this time, he has seen you coming. Well, almost. He realizes you are not quite his friend anymore.
He uses what he calls his "sledgehammer technique". He answers he never said that. The problem is, he uses irrefutable proof that it's true.
If, at this point, you don't try to make amends, it means you refuse to put your pride aside.
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