What Causes Talented But Lazy Children? Part 2

Let's just admit it: there's no parent who would refuse to have a child with remarkable, seemingly inborn musical abilities.

So, the child is praised. You, the parents, of course, stand by in admiration; the teacher is proud; and all the people who know you and your talented child are awed and amazed. And rightly so! Your child is creating very pleasant and unforgettable sensations... they fill you up from your head to your toes.

But some time goes by and the music teacher says that your child, depending on his age, should train at home for no less than an hour or an hour and a half each day. You quietly nod, taking the teacher's request into consideration, and continue to go about your day as usual, occasionally asking your child how many minutes (hours) he spends playing the instrument. You agree with the teacher that the curriculum has become more and more complex and will require additional time for your child to learn. And again you are sure that your child will be able to do this because he is so talented.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Let's go further. After a while, the music teacher says that today the student came to the lesson absolutely not prepared and strongly urges you to track his progress and studying at home. You are at loss; it's not possible! How could this happen? Yet on this very day as well as the following one, having put aside all other matters, you, as parents, demand the continuous sound of the instrument during a specific time. And during such time, you are listening very attentively to every single sound. You often notice that he plays unevenly, so you ask him to repeat the piece or a part of it again and again.

After the next lesson you wait for the teacher's comments like a man on trial waits for a verdict. The teacher appears to be happy, starts to praise you and says that the improvements are significant and that he can see "You worked with him," and your child "can," but "does not want to" and advises you to extirpate the child's laziness. You agree with the teacher just like before. He must know what he is talking about! And the child, having picked up the teacher's idea, repeats to everyone: "I can! I am just too lazy!"

Next, you notice that recently your child has become preoccupied with other interests, so you begin to struggle against his laziness. Besides your requests for him to play the instrument, you give vast lectures on having to study even though he might not feel like it. You use yourself as an example and say that you go for work against your desire, and eventually you say that the child simply must study and he will thank you for it in the future...

One thing about "lectures": they vary, and I don't need to list them: you know them better than I do. I can, however, tell you a secret - your "lectures" are absolutely useless to your child. They are not convincing. Threats will not work, either.

Unfortunately, very few parents care what is actually happening with their child during these moments. But after you solve this problem, he will - just like he did in the beginning - run over to the instrument.

So what happened? Your child indeed became a bit lazy. He lost his interest in the lessons. And each of us knows that laziness does not appear out of the blue; there must be serious reasons for it.

Next time we will talk about what happens in your capable and talented child's inner world.