Don't be like the bumble-headed Grinch!

Don't be like the bumble-headed Grinch who stole Christmas
  
from himself.
  

  
As a little kid I had a LOT of questions about Santa,
  
along with answers that I 'figured out' all by myself,
  
such as...
  

  

  
1. How does Santa REALLY know if you've been bad or good? 
  

  
Hey, I saw enough spy movies to figure that 
  
covert operatives...
  
otherwise known as CIA and KGB elves...
  
were probably keeping tabs on us kids for him.
  

  
2. How does he get to ALL the houses in ONE night? 
  

  
That one was easy... it HAD to be time travel.
  
Seriously.
  

  
How else could he do it?
  
Rocket boosters?
  

  
Only my cousin Tommy was silly enough to believe Santa had 
  
rocket boosters. 
  

  
I KNEW that sleigh was a cleverly disguised time machine.
  

  
And my favorite...
  

  
3. How DOES he get all those presents into one sack?
  

  
That one had me stumped...
  

  
...until my parents installed a trash compacter in our 
  
kitchen. 
  

  
Suddenly, I had the answer... 
  

  
Santa was obviously "squishing" our presents down really 
  
small...
  

  
...and then "fluffing them up" just before he left them
  
under our tree!
  

  

  
Okay, so maybe I spent too much time sneaking drinks of
  
eggnog when my parents weren't looking.
  

  
But here's one thing I do know for SURE...
  

  
For just one week every year, there is a certain online 
  
marketer who goes overboard CRAZY making sure YOU and 
  
I have a GREAT holiday.
  

  
How?
  

  
This year, he's cramming Santa's Bag so full of goodies, 
  
it's gonna burst at the seams.
  

  
Then he's taking the price of all those goodies...
  
putting it in the trash compactor...
  
and shrinking it down to itty bitty 
  
teensy weenie size.
  

  
http://2getsales.com/uses/?Santa
  

  
But like I said, it's only for a week, and the best deal 
  
is only for the first couple of days or so...
  

  
http://2getsales.com/uses/?Santa
  

  
Mark Hultgren
  
(A.K.A. MKWeb)