Can You Spot a Fake?

I'm not talking about a fake diamond or knock off fashion design, but a fake person? 

This subject came up yesterday when I was at my son's school.  My son has a form of high functioning autism, which for many reasons I won't get into, has caused him considerable school anxiety.  I am currently doing a blended home school/public school program with him and we are working to integrate him back to school full time.  Three mornings per week, I attend school with him - initially I was right in the room with him, and beginning yesterday I am just in the school acting as his "security blanket". 

My son didn't like the idea of me not being in his view, and had what I referred to as a "public melt down".  The psychologist asked me what I meant by that.  I explained that my son has his public face and his private face - an indicator that he is able to control himself and his reactions.  His "public melt down" was very quiet, whereas if we had been in private, he'd have been screaming a blue streak.  We got into an interesting discussion about personality and being able to detect if someone is being genuine in their interactions with you.

I consider it a skill, although others may disagree.  I've always been a pretty good judge of character, and my first impressions are usually pretty good.  As an example, I always figured I knew who were good dates for my friends and my siblings.  I told my brother he was making a huge mistake when he married his "first" wife... that description should tell you if I was right or not LOL.  My brother had to agree that I did know what I was talking about.  He doesn't see my "gift" as being all that special though.  In fact I think he said somethink along the lines of "it takes one to know one", and maybe he's right... to a degree.

We all have a dark side.  Or a public and a private side.  We choose what parts of ourselves we wish to expose publically and to whom.  I don't consider a "dark" side to be a flaw - it's what makes us human.  We are not perfect beings.  Even though we don't expose our "dark" side to anyone other than our closest friends and family, we can still be genuine.  When I speak of "fakes", I speak of those who attempt to portray themselves as someone they are not.

I could be wrong, but I think I can spot them a mile away.  Whether in person or in an online community, I just feel like I have this 6th sense.  I think most, if not all of us have it, but some people supress it.  It's trusting your gut, and I think it is what causes us to either connect, or not, with another person.  Some people claim to have hundreds, even thousands of friends.  In my opinion, those people are not in tune with what is and is not genuine.

I have several "fake" people in my contact lists.  They send me motivational quotes, or end their blog posts or emails with inspirational messages that I know are not really genuine.  They are attempting to represent themselves as someone or something they are not.   I get some of those same quotes and messages from other people that I know ARE genuine. 

As a marketer and a marketing trainer, I always tell people to be themselves.  Don't try to "copy" someone else's style - it comes across as "fake".  Don't tell someone to have a nice day if you really mean "drop dead".  Of course in your marketing you would never tell someone to drop dead, but you get my point.  Don't send out motivational quotes or use them in your writing if you don't believe them and live by them.  Put your real self into your marketing and you'll find that you have far more success.

At least, that is ~JMHO~