The Ant and the Grasshopper

Subject: The Ant and the Grasshopper


****OLD TRADITIONAL VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out
in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
 
 


**** NEW MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs
and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide
pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his
comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with
Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to
make him pay his
fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant
is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in
a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a
panel f federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of
single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
dosen't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related
incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who
terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

Harry Joseph

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