How a Coach Can Help You

 The  coaching process has three phases:
  1) To clarify what you want;
  2) To map out an action plan to get what you want;
  3) To be supported to the realization of the vision, dream, or goal.
These  phases happen in each session and they are also mirrored in the coaching  relationship between the coach and the client. All three phases are included in  every coaching project.
In  addition, there are three assumptions that are always present in an MMS transformational  coaching session :
  1) people  possess their own answers to their individual challenges;
  2) people possess the personal power to make their intrinsic answers become  reality;
  3) people can have their visions, dreams, and goals become reality.
If  these assumptions are not true for you, it is going to be a challenge to  empower another. If you are to coach another person, you need to believe in him  or her. If you are to believe in them, you must first believe in you. If you  have had the experience of discovering your own answers, it will be much easier  to believe that someone else truly has their own answers inside of them as well.  If you have been able to manifest your heart’s desires, then it will be much  easier for you to trust that another can manifest their vision also. If you  allow support to empower you, it will be easier for you to completely support another.
Bridging the gap
When  the stretch between where you are presently and the desired future reality is  more than you can imagine, a coach helps you bridge the gap between “here” and  “there.” A coach helps you manage the “I Cant’s” that surface in the form of  confusion, doubt, uncertainty and fear that can sabotage your dreams. Every  time you achieve another goal you either contribute to the evolution of the  “Self” or the inflation of the ego. Your identity changes each time you grow  into increased dimensions of yourself.
I  had been out of school working for 15 years when I discovered having the desire  to complete my education and get my masters and Ph.D. The people surrounding me  said, “You don’t need it. You have built your business successfully and you  don’t need that piece of paper. You certainly don’t need to spend the time,  energy and money at this phase of your life.” Although they were right, the  urge to continue my education was persistent and wouldn’t go away. I kept  imagining myself researching, writing papers, and stimulating my intellect. The  dilemma I faced was whether to listen to my friends and attempt to dismiss the  “message,” or to trust the message and apply for graduate school.
My  mind reminded me that no one in our family had pursued educational levels beyond  University. I called my coach and asked if we could have a session on graduate  school. The session allowed me to connect to my internal motivation and  simultaneously assess what others were saying to me. In the session I outlined  a plan to fully research the options and see if graduate school was truly my  choice. I received a brochure that spoke to my situation, my aspirations, and  to me personally. I applied, was accepted and eight years later I graduated. It  was with the support of Lynn, my coach that I aligned my energies toward my  goal and made a choice for my future. This was a specific issue that would  definitely not leave me alone. You may have one of these secret desires that  simply won’t go away. How you deal with or suppress your “message” will  directly influence how you deal with your client’s secret wishes when they  surface in a session.
Start Your Year with Focus
Each  January you can meet with your coach to help you determine your goals for the  year. If you don’t have goals, you could easily become confused as to where to  focus your energy. You might simply go with the flow or see what shows up in  your life. If you want to take control of your own destiny then you have to do  the work of assessing your preferences, your talents, capabilities and  formulating your goals. Once you have formulated your goals, then your coach  can know what you want to achieve. If you don’t know what you want, a coach can  also help you determine what you value and where you want to direct your time  and energy. The coaching conversation regarding values, focus, and goal setting  aligns both of your energies toward the agreed upon objective. This is a good  starting place for a new coaching relationship.
A Sounding Board
A  coach can also help you externalize your thoughts and feelings regarding your  goals. Formulating goals is important, but stating them doesn’t automatically  guarantee that they will happen. It isn’t like the genie from the lamp who  looms up in front of you asking for your three wishes. You must focus, intend,  and do whatever you need to do to make your goals become reality. Your coach  will encourage you to share your secret wishes, dreams and goals. A coach helps  you track your progress, recognize, reinforce and reward the achievement of  your desired outcomes. Sometimes the thoughts and feelings regarding a specific  issue become jumbled in your mind. When this happens, the coach serves as an  objective entity who can help you sort out the spaghetti of the mind into  individual strands so that you can make choices.
The  definition of choice is: “To select freely from a series of alternatives that  which you want.”
Mirroring Back How you Sound
Your coach will also act as a mirror enabling you to see what is evading or  obscuring your view. Imagine that you are cutting the hair on the back of your  head. Of course, it is possible to do this with mirrors surrounding you,  however the activity might require some double-jointed positions. There may be  easier ways of cutting the back of your hair that could be far less stressful.  Your coach enables you to see that which obscures your view, without bending  over backwards.
Learning to Believe in You
Another  area in which your coach can be incredibly useful is in helping you to believe  in yourself. Research has shown that people who believe in themselves are much  more likely to make their dreams come true than those who don’t. If your dream  requires you to stretch your self image, then your coach can help you find the  building blocks between your current perception of self to your desired  identity.
Getting back on  your feet
A  coach can also help when you encounter disappointment, disillusionment or  rejection. When your big goal seems to constantly be shutdown, you’re told that  “You’re crazy,” or everyone says, “I’m not interested,” your coach can either  help you re frame these experiences or assist you in overcoming the objections  and breaking through the blocks.
The Crossroad
Sometimes  it is difficult to sort out what direction you should take. Deciphering whether  the circumstances indicate that you should abandon a project or whether the  indicators are simply tests to see how much you really want something. For  instance, is this a message or is it a test? Am I supposed to press through the  obstacle or am I supposed to cut my losses because there is no way to win in  this situation? For instance, I asked my husband if he would take flying  lessons with me and he refused saying he experienced motion sickness. So I  started taking lessons by myself and John Kennedy Jr. then died in his historic  crash. Then, three weeks later, the flight school that I signed up with went  out of business. I kept encountering one obstacle after another and I started  to wonder if I was really supposed to do this or were the signs telling me that  this was foolhardy. I completed my flight training but it wasn’t without  challenges.
Embarking on a new Chapter
What  happens when you’ve accomplished what you set out to achieve? Perhaps your  company was acquired, merged, or went public, then what do you do?
A coach will help you acknowledge yourself, sort out your new aspirations, help  you choose what is in your best interest, and embark on your new venture.
Goals are used for Personal Development
What  becomes of those goals that never come to fruition? What happens to those  wishes, good intentions, and secret dreams? Your coach will help you discover  the lessons that you can learn from those unrealized dreams so that you can see  the insight and grow from everything that happens to you. Why do some goals  become derailed? Why do some people perpetually stay overweight? Why do others  feel the frustration of never materializing the relationship they desire? Why  do some stay in dead-end jobs perpetually envying others who appear to have  fulfillment and financial success? The unrealized goals become the fodder for  your personal development program. While you examine the what, the why, and the  “why nots” of your specific goal, your coach supportively encourages you to  look deeper to find the “Real Truth,” and not settle for what appear to be  reasons, justifications, and explanations for not getting what you said you  wanted.
Validation and  Recognition 
It  is important for everyone to have at least one person who recognizes your  accomplishments. Too often family and friends see you as you were in the past  or as you are in the present. They see you in terms of your history not your  future. They may have difficulty expanding their viewpoint to include your  development into new endeavors and capabilities. They may focus on your limitations  rather than on your unlimited potential. They also may compare themselves to  you and be threatened by your growth and expansion. Having a safe space to  formulate and discuss your goals, to share your concerns, worries,  considerations and fears is extremely helpful. Every time you externalize your  doubts it reduces their power over you.
Remember the Person
Remember  the person in your life who believed in you when you didn’t believe in  yourself? I am referring to the person who encouraged you when you wanted to  give up. You remember the person who would not stop believing in you no matter  how convincing you were? It might have been a teacher, athletic coach, friend,  uncle, aunt, sibling, minister, spouse, mother or father who showed you how not  to give up…on you. They probably even built a case on your behalf to prove  their point. They were so filled on ammunition on your behalf that at time you  may have been embarrassed or even disbelieved them.
Everyone  who has ever achieved anything in life has had at least one person whose  support was unrelenting. In the highly mobile world in which we live, it is  difficult to surround yourself with people who have that unconditional  commitment to your success. In large companies it is often unsafe to  communicate your aspirations rejections, concerns, worries, fears, or even  goals. Very often people are eager to use the information for their own  professional positioning and personal gain. Your coach, however, will be one of  your greatest cheerleaders and will commit to your success no matter what.
There  is a progression for each person who embarks on the self-development path. You  may join at level 1, 2, 3, or 4, but the progression is the same.
There  are five levels that you will encounter in your journey to growing your “Self.”
The  first level is the condition called: Disconnection with the “Self.” At this  level, you don’t know what you want. Even if you did know what you want, you  don’t believe that you could be it, do it, or have it.
At  the second level, you encounter the condition called desire and defeat. At this  level, you know what you want, but there is more self-doubt than confidence.
The  third level is called: Limits to Deserving. At this level, you have grown in  your belief in self, but it still has limits holding beck unlimited  possibilities.
Level  four is called: Connection and Abundance. At this level, you have broken  through any limitations and you are primed to go for everything you want.
Level  five is called: Union and manifestation. At this level you have fulfilled your  heart’s desire and have achieved what you set out to do.
This  progression emerges in every coaching relationship since it is about the  evolution of the self. The coach’s primary is to assist in your personal  evolution. The coach needs to be able to assess where you are and what will  support you in getting to where you want to go.
Article Source: http://www.lifestyle-information-services.com/Article/How-a-Coach-Can-Help-You/1876
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