10 Misconceptions of Marriage Counseling in Miami
Maybe your partner has suggested
couples counseling but you aren’t sure about the process. There are many common
myths about couples therapy that may be holding you back from attending, but
remember, these are just myths! If you want to have more tools in your arsenal
to grow with your partner, then couples therapy might be the right place for
you.
That being said, let’s take a deep
dive into 10 misconceptions of marriage counseling.
1. A Stranger Cannot Help My
Relationship
One myth about marriage counseling is that a stranger
cannot help a relationship that is outside of themselves. Although it may seem
like therapists may not be invested enough in your personal relationship to
give you good advice, their lack of investment is an excellent thing.
When you ask your loved ones for
advice, they either have something to lose or gain, depending on the advice
they give. On the other hand, a therapist has nothing to lose or gain if your
relationship does or does not work out. They can look at your relationship with
an objective and trustworthy eye.
2. The Therapist Will Take My
Partner’s Side
A couple’s therapist is not there to
support one partner’s opinion over the other. They are there to help you both
process your emotions about any given situation. If your therapist is supportive
of your partner’s ideas and emotional processes, that does not mean they
ultimately choose your partner over you. Your therapist will be there to
protect your relationship, which involves both of you. If your therapist were
to take one partner’s side over the other, this would sabotage the work they
are trying to do.
3. Therapy Takes a Long Time
While it is true that some people do
attend therapy for quite some time, couples therapy is typically a shorter
process. Most couples therapy focuses on the couple learning tools to build and
grow their relationship. Once a couple has a good grasp of these tools and has
worked through any major issues, they can continue working on their
relationship outside therapy.
In general, most couples therapy
plans are an average of 6-12 sessions, but this timeframe will depend on the
reason you are going to couples therapy, of course. Individuals in a couple may
want to attend their own therapy sessions after couples therapy ceases, or your
therapist may suggest a follow-up visit after some time passes, but typically,
couples therapy is not a long-term process.
4. Therapy Is Only for the Weak
Therapy is not for those who are
broken or weak. Therapy is for those who want to learn tools to process their
emotions and connect with their partners. Many people think therapy is only for
couples who fight constantly or suffer a huge betrayal — however, going to couples
therapy might not mean that your relationship is on the brink of collapse.
Therapy can be a great way to get to
know each other better and have an objective facilitator to work out any
issues. You may go into therapy with a particular issue, but some couples come
in simply with the goal of strengthening their communication and love for each
other. Whatever the case, a couples therapist can help.
5. Therapy Is Not Affordable
Therapy in general is an investment
in your mental health. In particular, couples therapy is an investment in the
continuing success of your relationship. Your mental health and the continuing
health of your relationship are great things to be spending your money on,
especially if you typically find yourself spending a lot of money in areas
that don’t have as much meaning to you.
6. The Therapist Will Point Out All
of My Faults
A therapist will only help you with
or comment on things that you offer up willingly. That being said, they will
not be looking for flaws in you. They will be looking at your verbal and
non-verbal cues to support any information you’ve given them. They will only be
looking for ways to help you through what you’re trying to process.
7. Therapy Can Fix My Relationship
Therapy is one tool. It will not be
the only reason why your relationship grows or deteriorates. You can ultimately
take the tools you learn in therapy and apply them. In that case, you have a
huge role in whether or not your relationship moves forward in a positive way.
Sometimes, couples therapy is a great way for
couples who are separating to move on in a constructive way — especially since
divorce can be an incredibly stressful event for an entire family.
Also, keep in mind that therapy is
not a quick fix. You’ll have to continue to use the tools you learn in therapy
over time to see results.
8. Therapy Can’t Help With a Breakup
Just because you’ve decided that
your relationship is over does not mean that you don’t have something to learn
from couples therapy. When a marriage or relationship is ending, both
individuals often have questions about why the relationship is done, and they
may also have residual emotions they need to process with their former
partners. Overall, your therapist will help you process any negative emotions
and help you move forward positively, whether you and your partner stay
together or not.
9. Couples Therapy Is Only for
Marriages and Families
All relationships are important, not
just marriages. Even if you are not married, you can still gain the same
benefits from couples therapy as a married couple would. Therapists are trained
in diversity, which means they are trained in working with many different types
of couples who have different types of relationships. The most important factor
in a relationship is the same across all types — healthy communication.
Your therapist will help you dive
into the communication patterns in your relationship as well as how
communication is tied to the resolution of your issues.
10. Therapy Is About Assigning Fault
and Blame
Therapy is not about assigning fault
and blame because then it would illicit and perpetuate negative emotions
instead of fostering positive emotions, which is one of the points of therapy.
Therapists are trained to be neutral parties in any discussions you might have
with them. They do not look to find and assign blame to either party — their
primary concern is to help each partner realize their responsibilities within a
relationship.
Overall, your couples therapist will
work to help you understand and accept you and your partner’s differences in
the relationship.
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